When you’re selling something on the Internet, you have to get the process of writing product descriptions exactly right, or else you won’t sell a damn thing. There is so much competition for your customers’ eyes, not just from direct competitors but from the Internet in general, that losing them for one second might mean losing them completely.

“BO-RING, can we get some GIFs of people falling on their faces, please?”

With that in mind, we scoured the Internet and cobbled together the Most Definitive Guide to Writing Online Product Descriptions Ever Written in the History of Anything, Ever (catchy title, no?) Following these ten tips will go a long way toward turning you into the ultimate product description writer, and thus the ultimate product seller.

Be Descriptive, but Keep It Short

Obviously, you want your audience to know what the product is and what it can do, but devoting several hundred words to doing so is a losing strategy. An entire page full of words might have worked decades ago, but today’s consumer is far more to-the-point. Tell them what the product is about in the fewest words possible, and you’ll keep them happy.

Avoid Empty and Generic Phrases

When using few words to sell a product, every single one must count. Delete all filler phrases and generic clichés  like “one of a kind” or “as good as it gets.” They say nothing, offer up no information, and elicit no feelings from the customer aside from ennui and eyeball rolling.

Utilize Bullet Points

The more you can break down even short descriptions, the better. So if you’ve got three or four major features you want everybody to know about, put them in easily-digested bullet points. That makes them stand out more, plus the lack of additional text will entice skimmers to read more intently.

Make it Readable, with Little to No Jargon

Business jargon, far from intriguing the typical customer, simply confuses them, since they literally have no clue what the big insidery words mean. While it can be hard to distinguish jargon from real-world talk if you work around said jargon all the time, here’s a trick: if it sounds like something Dilbert’s boss would say when trying to impress his boss, don’t type it.

“This device will aid you in dialoguing any paradigm you need to synergize and where are you going come back please keep dialoguing with me I’m so lonely.”

Remind the Reader What’s in it for Them

Telling the reader what the product is all about is obviously beneficial, but not as much as letting them know what this product can do for THEM. What’s something most people do every day? Can your product make that thing easier to do? Highlight that. Bullet-point it if you can, for this is information the customers really need to know about.

Talk Like Your Audience Would

Does your product speak to teenagers? Then write like they would (just not like they would text, because that’s obnoxious.) Is your product geared toward older women? Write like they would. You’re speaking to them in an attempt to win their money, and you’re not going to do so by sounding smarter or dumber than they are. Get on their level, whoever they are, and you’ll be fine.

Leave Out Adjectives, and Focus on Verbs

Adjectives are passive things that describe but don’t excite. Verbs, on the other hand, kick you in the face with pure action. They’re not merely showing the product, they’re demonstrating what it can do, in real-time. You can describe a razor as beautiful and colorful all you want, but the customer will only really care about how it cuts right down to the skin and lubricates it immediately after.

Never Repeat Yourself

We repeat: NEVER REPEAT YOURSELF. You only have so much space, so use it wisely. Make your point, and then move on to your next one.

So once again, in case you didn’t get it the first time: NEVER REPEAT YOURSELF.

Don’t Forget the Keywords

Utilizing proper keywords can mean the difference between everyone seeing your product description, and having it be invisible to all except maybe your mother. Signing up for a service like Google AdWords can help, especially if topics like SEO and keywords confuses you to no end. But confusing or no, they’re necessary, and inserting them into your product description is a quick and painless route to doing big business.

Proofread and Edit

Of course, nothing we just mentioned means a lick if your text is loaded with typos and crappy grammar. You couldn’t turn off a customer base quicker if you personally emailed each one and called their children ugly. So before you post that thing, make damn sure that every word is spelled correctly, you’ve used proper grammar throughout, and every sentence reads like an actual human being strung it together. People don’t mind giving money to humans. Illiterate robots, not so much.

And that’s it! Follow these tips when writing your next product description, and there’s a real good chance your business will grow immediately. Just so long as you NEVER REPEAT YOURSELF.